Don't Talk to Me

Being a generally introverted person and all around awkward, I hate speaking to strangers. In any country and any language. Small talk makes me uncomfortable. The idea of a long elevator ride makes me panic and anything more than a passive 'thank you' to someone holding the door is just too much. It's a lot of pressure. Back at home, I don't have to do much to avoid talking to strangers. However, in Korea it's obvious that I am here to teach English, so why wouldn't I want to continue doing so in my free time? In social situations, like out at bars or on group excursions, I don't mind. But when I am shopping, on the subway, or walking around, leave me alone.

Teachers will often employ a few tactics to avoid being used for English practice.

Defense 1: MP3 player. Earbuds/massive headphones firmly in place, all noises can be blocked. Even if the volume isn't loud enough to drown out surrounding voices, earbuds send a clear signal that you are not to be disturbed.

Defense 2: Hiding behind a book. We're antisocial and well read.

Defense 3: Sunglasses or eye avoidance. If they can't meet your eyes, there's no way they can start a conversation, right?

Defense 4: Anger. No one wants to talk to someone who looks like they're ready to throw a punch.

While these methods are usually effective, some persistent people get through the cracks. I was once trapped talking to a middle schooler for 30 minutes on the subway. James spoke almost fluent English, but remember that I'm not friendly. He noticed me the second I stepped on the subway. He crossed the car and sat across from me and I continued to avoid eye contact. I had earbuds and my book, but I could see him staring at me in the corner of my eye. He then moved to the empty seat next to me, turning his body to face me. I pretended to be engrossed in my book. Moments later, he started talking to me, loud enough to ensure I could hear him over my music. I sighed and took out an earbud. There was no going back.

Strangely, we were both twins and he went to the same Taekwondo academy as my ex-coteacher. Our topics included school, sports, my insomnia, his gnarled fingernails, and my parents' upcoming visit. He then made an assumption. I paused for a moment then started to correct him. But then I thought better. So in one of my most shining Korean moments, I let him believe.

James: Where will you and your boyfriend take them?
Me: *pause* Oh, you know. *pause* Seoul, and mostly Daejeon. My mother isn't able to travel much.
James: They must be excited to meet your boyfriend.
Me (still hesitant): Ooooh, yes.
James: Where does he work?
Me (by this time I'm more comfortable with my lie): Oh, Mike works in a hagwon in Dunsan-dong. I don't remember the name. We don't talk much about work.
James: He sounds like a nice guy.
Me: Oh, yes he is.

Oh, the lies. If I start a sentence with 'oh' I may be lying. James was a nice boy, and I promised that if I ever saw him around Noeun, I'd say hello. He was probably the best unwanted conversation I've had here, but I'm pretty good at avoiding speaking unless absolutely necessary. Many days I don't speak outside of work, except for broken Korean when picking up dinner, which doesn't bother me a bit.

Perhaps some day I'll be friendly and be more willing to talk to strangers. But I don't think that will happen anytime soon.